ME: Darren went and saw Avatar without me last night. Bastard donkey balls.

you tell him I said that

Shelby: haha, I will

ME: he took his roommate to see it but didn’t tell me about it

how rude I say

Shelby: That’s so wrong

How dare he


ME: my banana chips are highly offended by his blatant disregard for my feelings in this matter

and I literally mean my banana chips, I have a bag of dried ones sitting under my computer monitor.

Shelby: No man should mess with a woman’s banana chips…

ME: uh, exactly

Shelby: I gotta get me some banana chips so I can offend them………

that sounds bad

ME: yeah, but it also sounds totally kick-ass!

Shelby: doesn’t it?

ME: I mean it’s a little sad that you have to BUY something in order to offend it, but it’s also totally cool that you CAN just go buy something and then offend it and then you’re like all powerful and stuff. Or you can just get married and hey, someone to offend all the time.