So…I went to the bathroom at Dillard’s today because, well…I had to go. Let’s just be open about that right now. Let’s move on from reasoning, shall we?

The worst part wasn’t necessarily that I used the bathroom at Dillard’s, as opposed to Nordstrom. The worst part was where I was minding my own business while doing my business and I looked to my left and lo and behold, someone had left a collection of bloody boogers on the tile next to me. And it wasn’t just ONE bloody booger. It was a SWIRL of boogers. Someone had taken the time to try to make some sort of symbolic artwork out of their nasal feces (because, let’s face it, that’s what boogers are…nose poop).

Bloody Bloody Boogers-Award Winning?

So, naturally, this is the part of my adventure in Dillardbathroomland where I am so very thankful that I chose to use a toilet seat cover. I mean really, if people are putting boogers now on walls in bathrooms as well as still writing on stall doors in permanent marker, imagine what’s on that toilet seat. I suggest we all go out and buy some of those travel toilet seat covers, because even if the place offers them up themselves, you can never be too sure now can you?!?!

I’d like to know who made such a masterpiece there, who shamelessly smeared their nose poops all over the wall there. They probably just sat back and smiled for a while at how awesome they were. And then I came along and took a picture of it so that I could write about how disgusting they were.

And that, is how I spent my second day of vacation.