Ok. So I tried to come up with something witty and clever here for this one but I’ve had something on my mind all day and I have to get it out because I just don’t know what to do. Not that anybody out there might either, but I’m hoping that someone does, because that would be helpful…and that’s what friends are. Helpful. Except when they aren’t helpful and suck.

Anyway. A while back, probably a year ago, a friend of mine found a bunch of posts on an online community posting website from another old friend of ours, and it was some pretty intense stuff. It turned out she was being abused by her new husband. This woman, who I knew as a girl/young woman was always so strong and so fierce. She had a huge personality and wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. She had never had a serious relationship until college either. It shocked me that someone so brave and strong would have to endure something like that. It also disgusted me that someone could do that do someone I cared about. To prey upon a woman’s want and ideals for and of a perfect husband and perfect marriage and to play a pretend game until marriage and then go all ape shit crazy and hurt someone like that.

So, we never said anything to her. I mean, what do you say? They don’t make “sorry I accidentally stumbled upon your most intimate details” cards. She went away on Facebook for a while, but now she is back. So I decided to chat her up and see how things were going, because really that’s all I intended to do. She didn’t really offer up any information about her marriage, or “marriage” I should say, but when I asked her how married life was, she responded that during school season and what not she hardly ever sees her husband. That was it. So I had to wonder, did she go back after all that? Because that would break my heart. Or is she just keeping up appearances because she doesn’t want anybody in “real time” to know? It’s easy to find a new community of support via internet forums but the fact remains that you may never see those people face to face. Telling someone who you’ve let into your home, who knows your friends and family, someone who would look you in the eye…is very different. So did she just say that?

But now I am confused. I don’t want to make her relive it or anything, but every time I think about her or see her online I really just want to tell her that we know what happened, and that it’s ok and how proud of her we are for her being so strong and standing up for herself (which is what she had done in the first place). To let her know that it’s ok, that people in “real time” respect and support her too. But I don’t know if that’s the appropriate thing to do. Or if appropriateness is long out the window and you gotta be supportive even if it means people push you away too? OR do I just unleash a zombie apocalypse on the douchebag’s genitals?! I don’t know.

What do I do? What would you do?

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