I have a problem. It’s totally my own fault and it’s completely embarrassing in a way. No, I don’t have the herps or anything, and I might have mentioned this already but I am completely addicted to Farmville on Facebook.

The problem is…I’m not the only one who has become addicted to this game. I even went so far as to troll random messaging boards where people would link to their Facebook pages so I could just add them as “friends” just to have more neighbors, because more neighbors=more cool shit for my farm.

But apparently I’m not the only one who has done this. Obviously, because these people put their names on the message board all the millions of other loser nerds have done the same thing, and so whoever I add probably has about 250 “neighbors” who they don’t know. At any given time, there are probably about 175 of these 250 “neighbors” refreshing their Facebook or Farmville pages every 5 seconds so that when some mutual neighbor we have in common has a mystery egg or money or some other equally stupid but amazeballs crap they scoop it all up within literally…one whole minute of it being posted. Seriously, these people are Farmville VULTURES!!! THEY TAKE UP ALL THE GOOD SHIT!! I bet even if you could give people shit through farmville, like cow poop…or “fertilizer” as I’m sure they would call it…they would snatch that up too!! It’s ridiculous. How is a person supposed to survive?! I need more wandering cows to fill up my dairy farm and can I get any?! NO because the vultures take them within minutes. I NEED MOAR COWZ PLZZZKTHXBBQLOLLERSKATEZ!! I don’t have time to sit there and refresh every few seconds. It’s stupid. STUPID. I also don’t understand why I make money off of brushing the stupid farm cats?! THEY ARE CATS AND THEY ARE EVIL! HOW DOES THAT MAKE MONEY!?!

But I’m glad to know that clearly there are people more obsessed than I am. I mean I haven’t crossed the line yet where you start making designs with the plants and trees like some people do.

And just for fun, a total amazeballs re-cap of all the previous seasons of LOST for everyone too lazy to Netflix before the new season starts (you know that’s YOU!):