Yeah. Wikipedia says it makes cyanide. Not even kidding. Who knew? Probably someone, because someone had a really BAD bowl of cereal when they decided to try that first batch of almond milk. I’m just guessing. I’m sure some science person in a lab discovered that. I hope nobody hurt themselves over it just so I could enjoy a nice cold glass of it. But if someone did, I truly appreciate your erm…contributions. NO, that sounds wrong.


I saw something that totally crossed the line of normalcy…I saw a woman with two prissy white dogs in a store. Not just any store…in HOME. DEPOT. Yeah…That’s a new low. I often think that my dog should accompany me while I pick out a new sink. Or perhaps a new low flow toilet or some nice crown molding. Nobody. I mean NOBODY knows how to shop for home improvement better than your maltese.

I had to go back to work today. After 3 weeks of being completely useless it was back to the grind. Only the grind wasn’t at my actual office, we had a staff retreat at the furthest place you can possibly get from my house. While it was nice not to have to be in the office for a few hours during the first day back, there is just way too much stress associated with getting back into the swing of being a responsible adult than there needs to be. I sat down at my computer and was all “ok computer, what’s my password again?” and it was all “WRONG! WRONG PASSWORD! NRRRR! TRY AGAIN! *ugly face*”. So I said “Ok…how about THIS one computer?! WAS IT THESE NUMBERS AT THE END?!?!” and it said “NO IT’S NOT JUST EFFING GIVE UP AND GO BACK TO YOUR BED YOU USELESS WORKER PERSON” and then I punched it. Not really. I remembered my actual password. Being in bed for 3 weeks makes me a total social dumbass. Well work social. I’m social if you count Twitter and Facebook.

So I’m going to go drink my almond milk now and try to sleep. Hopefully this is a well scientificated batch of almond milk and not, you know, the *other* kind.